At 6, He Knew Compassion

Children are sponges. We have all heard that phrase. So many parents and companies rely on this easy transmission of knowledge at an early age. From Baby Einstein videos (don't get me started) to a bi-lingual nanny, there seems to be a short cut to getting smart fast. But when all is said and done, the best learning comes from relational interaction and guidance just like any classroom.

My greatest hope for any child is that he or she learns to feel emotions and relate to others. Perhaps that's how I ended up with an English degree... reading certainly is a bridge to empathy and life experiences. In the classroom, I always tried to peel away the layers of characters, their situations and their emotions so we could relate to them despite our differences. Yes, I said "I." I held their hands with my guiding questions and special little brainstorming bubbles and got them to see what I did in a character. I was thrilled when they did and even more excited when they uncovered something I didn't. My intentions were good, but I was a little off in my execution.

You see, kids already have it in them...

Today when I was at the grocery store with my girls, we were seemingly doing well. I texted my husband the picture below, to which he responded, "looks like they're BFF today." (Famous last words...)

Long story short, this "compassion" blog post is not about them. After my oldest had tried to push her sister out of the cart, ran around the produce aisles selecting our afternoon snacks (not on the list!), and began a round of percussions in the wine aisle, I placed her on my shoulders for an easy distraction. We lasted about three minutes playing peek-a-boo with passing customers, my eyes being covered by her hands. Then her inner tiger scratched my face without warning.

Proof. There was blood.

Once again, not about her. There was some whimpering and some tears...all from me... I'm not afraid to admit. Then, from behind an end cap of gluten free scones, two brown eyes peeked. A small boy about six years old stared, almost wishing he could do something to help. When his mother grabbed his arm and dragged him down the aisle, I realized that he was sad for me. I carried on through the store crossing out items on my list, and every so often, I would see his sorrowful eyes gazing toward me as his eyes followed me. He couldn't let what he had seen go. A mother crying, a daughter laughing and hitting. He was genuinely concerned for me, and I love him for that.

At six years old, this boy knew what it meant to care for someone you have never met. He felt sorrow, sympathy, and perhaps compassion. He didn't forget me as he left the store, I could tell by his neck craned searching for me at the register. I felt like someone understood my struggle. 

As teachers, we have the ability to develop and preserve emotional awareness in children. Whether they are six or sixteen, the more practice they get exploring their own opinions about how they feel or how they think others might feel, the greater convictions they will have as adults. Rather than pushing books at our students and asking them to find the universal emotions and truths, we need to first give them a chance to explore what they think about that truth to begin with. Only then can they connect with the text on a meaningful level.

Give these pre-reading learning experience a try!

• Identify a universal theme that you hope students will connect with by the end of their reading. 
• For example, when reading The Pearl by John Steinbeck, I planned to talk about the motif of suffering and how it looked different in different situations in the book. 
• Block off a class period, a homework assignment, and some flex time to allow writing before you even mention that you are reading the upcoming book. 
• Resist the urge to host an "all about John Steinbeck" powerpoint or watch a video about pearl fishing in the early 20th century as your pre-reading exercise. 
• Provide multiple options for exploring the topic, but make sure they all allow for independent writing reflection. (Sample options below. These don't need to be multiple day projects.. 20 min. in class to brainstorm and 30 min. at home in writing and/or reflection is sufficient.)
• Write a diary entry from someone else's perspective to reflect suffering in their life. What would they have written in response to suffering? How might their feelings change as they experience it? Consider different types of suffering. For this assignment, I would have students write at least 2 diary entries to cover different types of suffering or perspectives of suffering. 
• Interview someone they know about a time of suffering in their life. Record a  transcript of the conversation, either with an electronic device or in notes by hand/typed. Later, reflect in a free write about how understanding that person's perspective has affected themselves or changed their view about that person. You can have your reflection be anything-- perhaps you'd rather them focus on how they think the person handled the suffering, their attitude, etc. You can give guiding questions, prompts, or let it be open. 
• Compile a casual presentation on "What is Suffering" using whatever resources the student sees as valuable. The format doesn't matter, (big paper, computer application, folder, poster, etc.) rather having them identify suffering in the media, tv shows, relationships, books, and other formats will help them define not only suffering but their opinion on how to manage suffering, what constitutes suffering vs. a really bad day, etc. 
• Allow in-class time for students to share their work. The product shouldn't be the focus as much as what they learned in the process. A whole class presentation is absolutely unnecessary and frankly a waste of time. Instead, divide students into groups of 3-5 and have them share out their work. 
• Consider providing optional debrief questions such as, "What did you learn about suffering?" "Did anything that you learned (or even thought) surprise you (about yourself)?" "How does suffering differ from a very bad day?" "How do people react to suffering differently? Is there a right/wrong way?"
• Utilize reflection time on this activity to springboard to the new book. "We will continue to develop our understanding of suffering and multiple ways to define it or react to it in our upcoming novel, The Pearl by John Steinbeck." (Que to previously planned powerpoint or introductory video if you just cannot resist the urge anymore.) 

But wait! Don't leave them hanging! Make sure that you take time during your reading and writing activities to reflect on how their pre-reading experience has shaped their understanding of the characters, experiences, and author's purpose of the text. Connecting textual themes to their own understanding is the only way to fill their empathy tanks. 

The little boy in the store knows what compassion feels like when he sees me crying in the pastry aisle. But will he know it when he is reading The Pearl in Mrs. Erdmann's 7th grade English class? Will he really know that he felt compassion for a mother he never knew when he reads the story of the poor fisherman in South America? Will he know that he can relate to the rich doctor who sits upon his bed shoveling warm chocolate into his mouth and casting off the poor children in need, if only by contrast? It is our duty to preserve the moments in their lives where they feel strongly to remind them that they have felt  it all and literature can speak to their life experiences. 

The Making of My Master Egg Cracker

My one year old is becoming increasingly independent. If she is not actively IN CHARGE of something, she melts down. Without letting her take over my life, I try to give her a little bit of ownership in every task I perform. That way I can actually get things done and she has a good time and learns new skills along the way.

Today we made french toast. (AKA... we have nothing in our fridge.) Camden makes egg scrambles every morning with me, and is usually in charge of whisking the eggs, until she starts whipping them right out of the bowl. She loves that she gets to stand in her Learning Tower and be right by my side. Today I decided to teach her a new task: egg cracking. You silly mommy, you must be thinking. She's only one and she will not be able to keep the shell from getting in the egg.. yadda yadda yadda. At the end of the day, if I have a happy toddler and a little shell in my egg, I'm okay with that.

I was surprised at how obedient she was when I told her to crack only one egg at a time, and she even waited for me to discard the egg shell and give her the okay before grabbing another out of the carton. The thrill of being a grown-up chef had taken over her normal toddler sensibilities. 

As we cracked each egg and emptied it in the bowl, I combed through and got a little shell out. She whisked the eggs like normal, and I threw in some vanilla and cinnamon. At this point, I had lost her, and she munched on an entire slice of bread that was intended for the meal. Whatever keeps you happy, baby. 

She's only one, and I wanted her to learn a part of the process without being burdened by the quality of the end result. I didn't ask her to measure vanilla in a teeny spoon or transfer dripping bread to a sizzling hot pan. She simply isn't ready for those tasks. Good teaching looks the same no matter if you are teaching a toddler how to make french toast or teaching a middle school student to write an essay. You have to take it one step at a time to ensure clarity, quality, and confidence.

How to take it one step at a time in a middle school writing classroom:

1. Define steps of the writing process for yourself for the assigned task as part of your planning.
While it's great for students to understand how all these skills fit together, they need some solid time discovering each skill in isolation first. I'm not talking about teaching each skill in order one day at a time until you've taught them all in a week. I mean really digging deep to teach, formatively assess, reteach, and practice each skill. In reality, each reading and writing skill translates to real world critical thinking. We don't want to send the message that these techniques and practices are for writing class alone.

In general, I like to use the APES writing structure, which stands for:

A- Argument (This is one sentence stating a concise argument.)
P- Provide Evidence (Usually in quote form embedded within your own words. I will embed from my above blog post to model.)
E- Explain How Evidence Proves your Argument (This is your analysis... say something that shows me you REALLY GET IT! Don't assume that the evidence speaks for itself, but don't baby the readers either.)
S- Significance (Or as I really like to say... SO WHAT? Why does this argument matter to readers? Can you connect it to universal theme or some meaning outside of this text or argument alone?)

      By only expecting my one year old to master one task at a time, I am teaching a skill more deeply and instilling confidence in her ability. With her mind on the simple task of cracking eggs, she focused on her execution and "even waited for me to discard the egg shell... before grabbing another out of the carton." She broke down the steps of cracking an egg without worrying about if the french toast would burn in the end or how much cinnamon to measure into the egg mixture. With a few age appropriate and manageable tasks in her ownership, she felt in control and didn't feel the need to move outside the bounds of my expectations.  I have a lot of years left to teach my little girl how to do things a lot bigger than just making french toast, and I hope to keep the mantra that less is more. If I can master little things with her at great quality, I know that those skills will last and she will be able to transfer them to much more meaningful tasks.

(And believe me... there are even steps within these steps... so LESS really is MORE! I will provide more insight and resources on breaking APES down in other posts.)

2. Write an Objective that Reflects Your Expectations
Too many times, I wrote lazy objectives that turned into vague understanding in the classroom. "Students will be able to write an essay to prove how Julius Caesar was a tragic hero." Sure. That's fine for an assessment, but not for teaching. When a student walks into your classroom, they should be able to look at your board, have a basic understanding of the one thing you will teach them HOW TO DO that day, and when they leave, they should be able to properly communicate HOW TO DO that skill. I've used an extreme example to prove a point, but you might need to break some of your objectives into even smaller bites to be effective.

Consider how these objectives would guide students in a classroom:

• Students will be able to decipher fact from opinion in a thesis statement. 
• Students will be able to choose the best quote from the text to support their opinion.
• Students will be able to explain how their evidence furthers the argument in two to three sentences. 
• Students will be able to compare their argument to at least two universal themes or real world connections. 

3. Assess only what you teach! 
If you are teaching students to embed a quote, don't muddle their understanding by marking their comma splices in red. The human mind is fragile and is drawn to criticism. Let the criticism that marinates during this lesson be directly related to the lesson.. that way you pair criticism with a solid solution.

There is a time and place for grading more than one thing at once. In each step of the writing process, be aware where you are and what your goals are at the moment. Tailor your advice and critique to meet those goals directly.

Puddle Jumping No. 7

Puddle Jumping No. 7
https://www.etsy.com/shop/ColorsOfCynthiaC

Tuesdays are the longest days. Well into the week with no hope for Saturday, the tantrums, spills, and shrill cries weigh heavy on my patience. With a pat on her mattress, my little girl says "mama," asking me to lay with her like she does each night. Of course I do. Nothing can keep me from her sweet snuggles. She turns her head toward mine, uncurls one finger from her fist, and places a warm finger on my mouth. "Boca." Giggling, she pats my head. "Cabeza." After naming each part of my face, she grabs hold of my fingers. "Di-gi Di-gi." I laugh, knowing I taught her that one wrong. 

When I finally make my way to plop onto the couch or to clean up the dishes, I think of all the teachers just opening their laptops to write a new lesson or grade a stack of papers. That was my life for so long and a part of my past I don't miss. 

Being a mom so closely echoes many sentiments I felt as a teacher. The work never ends. Does anyone notice how hard this is? Am I even making a difference? Yes, yes, and yes! Each time I see those big brown eyes, her sassy pigtails, or her chubby thighs bouncing down the hall, I am reminded of my purpose. I have taught her everything she knows, and she has become a reflection of our time together. 

After two pregnancies, my hormones are permanently deranged. I can tear up watching a Dos Equis commercial. So when I stumbled upon "Puddle Jumping No. 7," you can imagine the ugly crying that ensued. I have always loved the rain. Something about how it's supposed to be dreary but always brings life makes me renewed. Teaching, like motherhood, can be a lot of downpour and puddles: long days, crooked attitudes, that moment you never saw coming... Yet when your clothes are drenched, your hair limp and wet, a child can change it all. The drops coming down aren't muddled in filth but glistening in rainbow. 

One day when my daughter is grown, she will call me in tears. Overworked, underpaid, under appreciated. I will wrap up "Puddle Jumping No. 7" and place it in her hands. She will get through even the longest of days knowing the joy in the struggle.